Right before leaving town for the summer, the Supreme Court ruled 8-1 that “Rethink Maybe” was the pop hit of the summer, overtaking last year’s remake of “Every Breath You Take”:

Rethink Maybe

I filed a brief with the Court,
Don’t worry, it’s rather short
Constitution and not tort,
But now you’re in my way

I’d trade my soul for a wish,
Limited powers it is
Nobody expected this,
But now you’re in my way

Blue-eyed stare was holdin’,
Black-robed, balls-strikes callin’
Then you started cavin’
Where you think you’re goin’, CJ?

Hey, John Roberts,
This is crazy,
Mandates aren’t taxes,
So rethink, maybe?

It’s hard to look right,
At you CJ,
Your op makes no sense,
So rethink, maybe?

I just read you,
The ruling’s crazy,
Read Article I,
And rethink, maybe?

The other justices,
Ruled on the law,
But you played politics,
So rethink, maybe?

You thought Congress was remiss,
But changed your mind after this
You gave me the Commerce Clause,
But still, you’re in my way

I beg, and argue and plead
Had foresight, reason indeed
I didn’t know how I’d feel,
But now it’s in my way

Blue-eyed stare was holdin’,
Black-robed, balls-strikes callin’
Then you started cavin’
Where you think you’re goin’, CJ?

It’s hard to look right,
At you CJ,
Your op makes no sense,
So rethink, maybe?

Hey, John Roberts,
This is crazy,
Mandates aren’t taxes,
So rethink, maybe?

It’s hard to look right,
At you CJ,
Your op makes no sense,
So rethink, maybe?

All other justices,
Ruled on the law,
Mandates aren’t taxes,
So rethink, maybe?

When you came onto the Court
I thought you so rad
My man-crush so bad
My man-crush so, so bad

Now thanks to you I’ll pay this tax
It made me so mad
But now I’m just sad
It makes me so, so sad

It’s hard to look right,
At you CJ,
Mandates aren’t taxes,
So rethink, maybe?

I just read you,
The ruling’s crazy,
Read Article I,
And rethink, maybe?

The other justices,
Ruled on the law,
But you played politics,
So rethink, maybe?

When you came onto the Court
I thought you so rad
My man-crush so bad
My man-crush so, so bad

Now thanks to you I’ll pay this tax
It makes me so sad
And you should know that

So rethink, maybe?