Multi-Millionaire Singer Proposes Toilet Paper Restrictions

Al Gore’s histrionics are amusing, but nothing he has said compares to Sheryl Crow’s proposal to restrict how much toilet paper can be used. Perhaps there can be a new monitoring bureaucracy to search our homes. Maybe government agencies can stand guard in public restrooms. The BBC reports on the latest in cutting-edge environmentalism:

Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment. … The 45-year-old…has just toured the
US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change. …The pair targeted 11 university campuses to persuade students to help combat the world’s environmental problems. … “I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming,” Crow wrote. …”I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

Crow’s publicists managed to get the BBC to reference her biodiesel bus, but her environmental bona fides do not stand up under closer scrutiny. Thesmokinggun.com exposes the demands she makes when going on tour:

The rock star’s performance contract includes specific day-to-day instructions on what kind of booze Sheryl needs in her dressing room (TSG has never seen such attention to detail in any other concert rider we’ve posted). … promoters are directed to purchase specific booze depending on what day of the week the concert falls, as the below rider excerpt reveals. Additionally, when the global warming warrior hits the road, her touring entourage (and equipment) travels in three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars. Now that’s a carbon footprint!